Love and Clemency

“Why do you always have to pull this bullshit?” Jess's voice was wearing down from all the screaming she’d done that night. But Andrew hadn’t acknowledged a single word of it. He just sat on the leather recliner in the back of the living room, holding a bag of peas over his mouth. His eyes were bloodshot and uninvolved. 

“Please say something.”

“For Christ's sake, Jess, I don’t know what the hell you want me to say. The guy was being an obnoxious asshole, he had it coming.”

“So why is this your answer to everything? There are a lot of rude, obnoxious people in the world, but you don’t have the right to break all of their noses.”

Andrew rolled his eyes and got up from his chair. He dragged himself from the living room into the kitchen to get a new bag of peas since the one he was using had begun to soften; Jess’ throat must be sore from screaming for so long. His construction boots trudged through the dining room into the kitchen, tracking dirt over the hardwood floors. Andrew thought about the guy in the bar, the guy was such a smug asshole. Andrew had zero regrets in whaling on his face. The bar asshole was one of those guys that probably never had a mother to teach him to respect girls because he hollered obscenities at this one girl for well over an hour. The poor girl looked barely old enough to be in the bar, and she sipped on one margarita in the time it took Andrew to throw back five whiskies: neat. 

“Come on sweetheart, let me give you a ride home, I think we could really have some fun.” The asshole was now right up in her face with his elbow leaning next to her half-full margarita glass. He took two of his sausage links for fingers and stroked the side of her arm. Her face twisted into disgust, and she pulled her arm away.

“I’m fine, thanks. I’m waiting for someone, he’ll be here soon.” 

“I don’t think he’s coming, but I can take you home. Don’t be upset, honey, you have me now.”

“I’m all set, thanks.” This is how she answered him all night, with short, please-please-please-leave-me-alone phrases, he didn’t get any of the hints. So Andrew gave him a hint.

“Alright, I’ve seen enough. She’s not interested so take a hike.” This was Andrew’s diplomatic approach since he’d been working on not expressing himself so physically per Jess’s requests. 

“Hey fuck you, this is a private conversation.” the villain that stood in front of Andrew was really beginning to piss him off. He could feel the whiskey heat up his blood, and the tips of his ears turned red. He looked at the girl one more time and could see her squirming in her seat out of discomfort and maybe even a little bit of fear. 

Andrew tapped the guy on the shoulder one last time, “Go sit back down at your table.” The guy stood up aggressively and stood inches away from Andrew with his chest puffed out like a Johnny Bravo cartoon. 

“You know wha-“

Before the greasy excuse for a man could finish the word Andrew’s fist was cracking his nose. Just one punch and the idiot hit the floor, smacking the back of his head on a bar stool as he went down. It was right after that the grease-ball’s friends came over to repay Andrew for what he’d given their friend. But they were all amateurs, and Andrew drove home with nothing but a fat lip and way too high of a blood alcohol level to be driving home. 

But when he walked in the door, that’s when all the yelling started.

“Please, tell me when this is going to stop. Why do you have to behave like such an animal?”

His tone raised to a level that frightened Jess. “I’m not the animal, it’s everyone else. I’m just trying to help. It’s always some pervert or racist or bigot running their mouth or bothering someone, and I’m just trying to help. Jess, I’m the good guy. I’m sorry you don’t like that I can’t stand by and watch people be assholes.” His face was bright red now, and his arms were raised over his head, his hand still clutching the new bag of peas. 

“Not every fight is your fight.” Jess calmly folded her arms and cocked her body, so all of her weight was now on her left foot, and she gave Andrew that look. That look of complete disappointment that he always received after one of his bar altercations. 

“I love you, but I will not ice any more fat lips or bandage any more bloody knuckles. This is the last time, Andrew.” She was so unbelievably calm that Andrew knew she was serious. Even with all of the adrenaline and whiskey still coursing through him, he could tell this was not the same as every other time. She wriggled past him in the doorway and tip-toed back to their bedroom in her stocking feet. Like she didn’t want any noise to interrupt Andrew contemplating the last thing she said. 

Andrew sat back down in the leather chair for a few hours and had one last whiskey before bed. But then he had one last whiskey after that one. He pushed himself out of the chair finally and unsteadily stoked off to bed. As he pulled off his thick, work pants he noticed something by the window that wasn’t there earlier. He couldn’t quite make out what it was in the darkness, but after picking it up, he understood what it was. Jess’ suitcase. All packed, neatly, and deliberately placed by the side of their room. 

Andrew pulled over into the Craiger’s Bar when he got off of work the next evening. 

“Hey Andrew, how’s the lip?” Ben usually worked the night shift, which was usually when Andrew stopped in for a drink.

“It’s fine. They had no idea what they were doing, I don’t think they had ever punched a guy in the face, ya know?” He swiveled around in the ripped, leather barstool. Way in one of the back booths was a drunk in a dark green jacket. His head lay on the table next to his empty beer mug. Andrew figured the fewer the people in the bar, the less likely he was to deal with an asshole. 

“So buddy, how’s Jess? Has she left your sorry ass yet?” 

“No, no. Not yet. I don’t know. She’s sick of the fighting.” Andrew took a gulp of the whiskey Ben had poured for him. 

“Can you blame her? I mean, come on man, Jess is one of the most reasonable people I’ve ever met. If you’re pissing her off, you’re doing something wrong. I’ve seen her come pick you up and drag your drunk ass into her car. She’s always apologizing to everyone and their mother and leaves more money than you even owed that night.”

“I know, she is great. We’re having dinner in about an hour an-“

“Hey! Copperman wanna have a drink?” Two guys from his work, Harry and Adam, walked in. Andrew threw back the rest of his whiskey.

“Sure guys, I have time for one more.” Andrew started sipping his second whiskey: neat.

Andrew checked all of his seven pockets in his work pants until he found his car keys. He yanked them out of his front pocket and flipped through the different keys one at a time, the key to the car came up, and he stuck it in the passenger’s door. He swung the door open, paused for a moment, and then slammed it and walked around to get in from the driver’s side. 

“Shit! It’s dark out.” Andrew slurred his words to himself and then his eyes darted to the clock on the radio. An hour past when he was supposed to be home for dinner. Jess was going to make ribs and green beans, and she told him to make sure he was home in time. 

He flew out of the parking lot and got on route 2 within 5 minutes. He was making good time, only 20 minutes from home. There were a lot of cars on the road with him, it was only just dark, and people were driving home from work. Flicking his left blinker on, he slid over into the far left lane. He sort of came close to the car that was behind him after he changed lanes, and they beeped at him. 

All of a sudden, the entire cabin of Andrew’s truck was flooded with blue lights.

“Fuck!” Andrew saw the cop car pull up right behind him with their lights and sirens on. It was a prolonged pull-over because Andrew had to move over all four lanes, and there was traffic. When he finally made it to the breakdown lane the cop stepped out of his car and swaggered over to Andrew’s window. 

“Good evening, Officer.”  

“Are you aware that you nearly caused a four-car accident?” The cop was huffing and puffing with his hands on his belt. 

“No sir, I wasn aware. I was just swischinglanes.” Andrew heard his own words slur and knew that it could only go downhill from there. The officer flashed him a look of disbelief and then backed away from Andrew’s door.

“Okay, sir, could you please step out of the vehicle?”

“Is there a problem, Officer? Why do I need to get out?” Andrew’s words were still slurred.

“I’m going to administer a sobriety test. I believe you are inebriated.” Andrew stepped out of his truck and wobbled over to the cop. 

The cop gave him the toe-to-toe test. He failed.

He asked him to recite the alphabet backward. Andrew couldn’t.   

The breathalyzer was what really did him in. Andrew’s blood-alcohol level was .15%, nearly twice the legal limit. The police officer clamped the handcuffs around his wrists, his chest laying against his own truck with his arms behind his back. The cop put his whole palm on Andrew’s head and pushed it down as he stepped into the back of the squad car. 

When they reached the police station, Andrew was informed that his bail was $500 and a court date would be set for his hearing. Then he was told to call someone to bail him out if he could. He called jess.

“I can’t believe this! How stupid can you be?”Jess’ scream was still crystal clear even through the crappy payphone.

“Jess, I’m sorry. Please come get me, with the money. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I missed dinner.”

“You’re sorry you missed dinner? You’re in fucking jail! Why do you do this shit? I really don’t understand Andrew.” He heard her getting worked up over the phone, her voice grew shrill and it cracked often. 

“Please, baby, I’m so sorry. Please Jess come pick me up. It will never happen again, I’m so sorry.”

“I love you, Andrew. But I don’t believe you. This is worse than a bar fight and I said no more of this shit. You need to fix this, and I’m sorry but I can’t help you fix it.” Click. She hung up. She actually hung up on him, she was really done this time. Andrew couldn’t believe he finally set her over the edge. He really loved her, and he always meant not to stop for a whiskey. But it doesn't matter, because she was done. 

He laid on the thin, jail mattress. He thought about their fight the night before. He thought that he shouldn't have yelled at her, because Ben was right; Jess is always right. The suitcase burned into his brain made his stomach drop. His throat was dry, and his face was hot; a few tears rolled from his eyes. Jess consumed his thoughts. The extra six whiskeys he drank with Harry and Adam were canceled out by the phone call with Jess. Eventually, he drifted off with his arms folded behind his head because there was no pillow in the cell. 

“Hey.” Her voice was abrupt. Andrew rolled over to see Jess, arms crossed, hip cocked, glaring at him in the bed. Andrew only slept for about an hour. Jess wore his Yale University sweatshirt with the whole by the neck. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun, and her pajama pants brought a little Christmas spirit to the station. Reindeers were printed all over them, it was May, but they were her favorite pajamas. 

“Hey, you came. I-“

“Just get up, I want to go back to bed.” She stormed away while an officer opened the cell to let Andrew out. 

Before he left, Andrew took a bunch of paperwork they shoved at him. Some of it was about his court hearing, and Andrew didn't know what the rest were for. Jess smiled and leaned into the receptionist to say something. The receptionist waved her hand once at Jess and smiled as if to say, “don’t worry about it.” Jess turned away and strolled past Andrew and waved bye and thanked the two cops sitting by the door. 

Once they were in the parking lot, Jess whipped around to face him. She opened her mouth, probably to rip him a new one, but she didn't get the chance. Andrew grabbed her by both her arms and kissed her. She was caught off-guard, but after a moment she pulled her arms away from his grip and wrapped them around his neck.

“I’m still mad at you.” She asserted, still holding onto him.

“I know, I’m still mad at me too. Jess, I’m sorry.” She looked into his eyes with a suspicious eye. Her face broke into a smile, she squeezed her arms tighter and buried her face into his shoulder. 

They drove home, and Jess unpacked her suitcase.